It's in the tone of your voice;
it's in the energy of your walk.
It’s not so much your anger, but your denial about it - that’s really what’s strangling your relationship. I’m addressing women in this post but the same can be true with all genders of course.
Believe it or not, it’s never lost on a man when you’re angry, whether you actually admit to being angry or not.
And I say this with a heart full of love - your man can see through your fake smile; he can see past your niceties.
He can feel your impatience; he can hear your (silent) criticism.
It's in the tone of your voice; it's in the energy of your walk.
He sees right through the helpful “suggestions" – whether for what to wear or directions on how to get somewhere, when he didn’t ask!
And the only thing more upsetting to a man than seeing his woman unhappy, is when she doesn't respect the relationship enough to - without blaming him - actually let him know how she feels.
So what to do? Well if you've been disconnected from your anger for a long time (i.e. saying you're *not* angry, even when you feel a massive distance in your relationship), the first step is to simply stop doing THAT.
It's to stop pretending. It’s to stop saying "nothing" when he asks you what's wrong.
It's learning to STOP SAYING "I'm fine" when it's very clear that you're not fine. It's learning to start telling the truth - especially to yourself.
What if you don't know the truth?
It's OK to say "I'm not sure." It's OK to say "this doesn't feel good." It's OK to say "I'm confused and need some time to sort it out." It's OK to start by simply not denying your emotions.
Not only will it begin to bridge the distance in your relationship, it will begin to make YOU feel more whole - which will do more for your relationship than all the strategies and self-help books in the world combined.
To our collective growth,
Tara x
If you have questions please reply by email.
