mindset practice

THE SHADOW

 

WHAT IT IS AND HOW TO BEFRIEND IT


Many of us have heard the saying

“What you resist, persists”

 

This is probably one of the best ways

To describe the nature of our human shadows

 

Our shadow is essentially the part of ourselves

That we do our best to keep hidden

Because we find it shameful &

Unacceptable in some way

 

The problem with the shadow 

— and with the notion of a purely

‘Positive Psychology’ approach to life — 

 

Is that the things we don’t confront &

Come to terms with, within ourselves 

Don’t just go away or die off on their own

 

In fact, they usually persist

And they show up in our lives 

In all kinds of sneaky and sabotaging ways 

— such as various forms of mental illness,

low self esteem, chronic pain, anxiety, addictions,

and a whole host of other experiences ranging from

painful to downright excruciating 

 

If you don’t know what your shadows are

— and yes we ALL have them — 

I’d encourage you, over the next few days,

to really start paying attention to what triggers 

you in other people, especially qualities/behaviors/etc

that you find yourself routinely annoyed, irritated, or 

otherwise offended by

 

The things that we strongly dislike in others

Are typically a good reflection of the parts of ourselves

That we have either disowned or not fully integrated yet

(I explain this further in examples below)

 

And the biggest indicator of our shadows 

Are the things that make us defensive

 

If you’re interested in going deeper on this

You can look up the works of 

Swiss Psychoanalyst 

Carl Jung

 

STEPS FOR BEFRIENDING YOUR SHADOW

 

MINDFULNESS

 

In order to do this work

You need to have a basic

Capacity for introspection

As well as a willingness to be honest

With yourself

 

The fact that you’re reading this 

Is indication enough that you have

What it takes to embark on this journey

 

COMPASSION (FOR YOU)

 

Like I always tell my clients

We strive to do all this work 

From a place of Self Compassion

 

In fact, you will need A LOT of Self Love

And compassion

 

Because this work is not for the faint of heart

But it makes life so much richer

That it’s absolutely worth doing

 

SILENCE & CENTEREDNESS

 

If you are in the middle of a trigger

Or are having an emotionally charged

Response to something

 

This is not the moment to grab 

Your pen and journal

And start trying to dig deeper

 

The first step in the midst of 

Any strong emotion

Is to (re)find your center

 

If you’re in the middle of an interaction

That feels heated, or feels like it could 

quickly escalate

 

Step away if possible

Take a walk

Get some fresh air

Take a few deep breaths

 

If you feel super triggered

Try noticing the various objects

Around you, and start naming them

Out loud

 

If you’re outside, do the same

With the trees, flowers, plants, the sky

 

Point being, that we cannot engage

In the deeper work until we can reclaim

Our emotional center

 

Once you feel like you can  

See straight again

Move onto the next step 

 

GETTING COMFORTABLE

 

Find a quiet place

Where you will not be interrupted

Grab a blanket, some pillows

A cup of tea or whatever

Your favorite beverage is

 

Get comfortable with a pen, journal

Or a few pieces of paper

 

I’m including this piece

Because doing shadow work

Is challenging enough as it is

 

And because learning to cultivate

Both quiet moments and comfortable spaces

For ourselves is, in and of itself, also an act

Of Self Love

 

WRITE & RECORD

 

Be willing to be honest

With yourself

 

Remember that our refusal 

To acknowledge the parts of 

Ourselves that we deem unworthy

Ugly or unacceptable 


Don’t just go away on their own

 

We need to acknowledge them

And actually befriend them

 

When we do so, they learn to trust us

 

They become willing to tell us

Where we still hurt

Where we still carry pain

And where we still have healing

We get to do

 

But if we shame these aspects of Self

They stay away, in hiding, and we never

Benefit from all the wisdom they have for us

 

So, having said that

Here are some questions 

To journal on to get you started:

 

What are my strong reactions usually about?

Are there any themes I can see?

Are there certain people, or qualities, that usually upset me?

Are there certain traits I find unacceptable in others?

What emotions tend to come up for me?

Is it sadness, anger, lust, jealousy, rage or some other emotion?

What do I consider my positive qualities?

What are the OPPOSITE of these qualities?

 

This last question is SUPER important

 

Why!?

 

Because every quality has it’s opposite

 

For example, if I consider myself

An honest person 

And ‘lying’ really triggers me

 

It means I probably don’t fully own 

The part of myself that’s capable of being 

Less than 100% truthful at times

 

Another example would be

If I consider myself a disciplined person

It might be that I don’t own the part of myself

That has the capacity for rest 

 

Important Note:

Notice that the shadow opposite 

Of discipline 

Is laziness

 

BUT.. 

 

Like everything else

Even the shadow side of laziness

Carries its opposite as well

 

In this case, it’s the ability to rest and relax

 

So the question here would be

Where am I still denying myself 

The permission to take a break?

 

Shadow Work is super complex
And it’s not something that you are 

Ever going to be fully “done” with

 

It’s an ongoing unfolding

 

But the idea is to become

Familiar enough with your triggers 

That they no longer rule your life

Just below the level of your awareness

— aka consciousness

 

Joy is your natural state

 

It’s time for you to remember 

 

To our collective growth,
Tara x

If you have questions please reply by email.

 
 

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CREATING FASTER

 

CREATING FASTER: THE MINDSET OF SUCCESS


It’s time to dig deep

Into the world we actually

WANT to create 

 

It’s time to take 

The reality that “IS”

And replace it with 

The reality that we desire 

 

In order to do this

We must be willing

To become experts 

On Self

 

We must become willing 

To practice

The art of discernment

 

The discernment to know

Where we are — within every 

aspect of our lives —

And the willingness

To act on that discernment 

 

After all

Most everything 

In life

Involves paradox

Balance

And the ability

To move within 

Various shades of grey

 

You have to know

When it’s not only Ok

But necessary

To look at the evil 

In the world

 

And you have to know

How long to look at it for

 

You have to remember

— should you choose 

to be the true creator that

you came here to be —

That the things we don’t like

 

The things that hurt our hearts

 

Are there so that we can choose

More decisively 

What we DO want instead

 

This reality is about contrast

But what you do with that contrast

Is - and will always be - entirely up to you

 

You have to know

Which relationships 

And people

Are worth fighting for
And which are worth

Walking away from

 

Nobody outside of you

Will ever be able to give you

The answers to these questions 

 

Or be able to tell you

What your life purpose is

YOU and only you must be willing

To turn within, to fully and 

Completely lean into your 

Own pain and suffering

 

And to trust that it was

Not put on your heart in vein

 

You must CHOOSE to step 

Into your own power

 

And yes this is simply a choice

A choice that only you can make

 

You cannot be a victim of circumstance

And a creator of your reality at the same time

 

But once you do choose

Once you decide

The Universe will also

Step in and fully support you

 

Suggestions For Increased Clarity:

 

  1. Fasting

 

Look into a physical cleanse

Or detox of some kind

 

These aren’t hard to find

And don’t have to be complicated

 

Even juice or fruit fasting 

Is a great — and not terribly 

painful — way to reset your system

 

And since so much of our 

Reality is experienced through 

This body

 

It’s best to tend to your vessel

And love on it

As much as you can

 

Like anything else

It’s a practice 

 

And like anything else

You’ll enjoy it more

And get better results

If you can hold it lightly

Not beat yourself up for

Not being ‘perfect’

And release the habit 

Of comparing yourself

To other people

 

  1. Journal 

 

Take some time every day

To write about the life

And the world

You would love to see

 

Write using all your senses

Write about how it feels

To be this next version of you

Living the life of your dreams


Write about where you live

What you do for a living

The gifts that you choose to share

With the world

 

How you spend your time 

And so forth

 

Do your best to write freely

And without the constraints 

Of our outdated human programming

Which loves to tell us what is 

And isn’t “possible”

 

I promise you

It’s all possible

But you have to see it first

 

  1. Environment

 

Take a really good look

At the people you hang around

And the activities you spend 

Your time on

 

As you already know

We are the average 

Of the five people
We spend the most time with

 

So spend your time wisely

Be willing to cut out

— or r at least cut back — 

On activities that truly 

Don’t serve you or the life
You wrote about above 

 

This reality requires 

Aligned thoughts AND actions

 

Aligned actions that match

The energy and frequency 

Of our dreams

 

That is the only way

For them to materialize 

 

And materialize they will

 

But you have to be willing

To Focus 

In order to bring them about

 

Joy is your natural state

It’s time for you to remember 

 

To our collective growth,

Tara x

If you have questions please reply by email.

 
 

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Negative Emotions

 

WHY YOU CAN STOP JUDGING YOUR NEGATIVE EMOTIONS


You are an ever-evolving product

Of the thoughts you think

The emotions you consume

And the people

You surround yourself with

What you eat

— especially if you eat 

a whole, plant-based diet —

Along with getting

Plenty of water

And exercise 

Is a great way to lower your risk

Of health problems

BUT

I’ll be the first to tell you

If you’re harboring negative emotions

Or have unresolved feelings

About anything

Whether from your past or present

 — and are not ACTIVELY WORKING

THROUGH these emotions — 

They will 100% calcify in your body

Eventually in the form of 

Fully manifested

Physical disease

Take-home message being:

Do not deny your emotions

Don’t make them good or bad

Right or wrong

Because emotions

Have no

Inherent goodness

Or badness

They just are

Sort of like the air

We breathe

We don’t analyze the air

And decide whether or not

To “accept” it  

Unpleasant emotions

Can be treated the same way

Sadness is sadness

Anger is anger

Fear is fear


And quite often

It’s not even YOUR 

Sadness, anger and fear

It belongs to the collective

Of humanity

And is something that

You might be picking up on

Because your system 

Is particularly sensitive 

(in a good way)

To the energetic field

Which surrounds us all

But back to the topic of emotions

When you allow

Your feelings
To exist

Without judging them

You create space in your body

Thereby allowing your body

To do what it does best: 

HEAL

All on its own

Without your input

Or onslaught of criticism

.

.
.

Another helpful hint

I can’t emphasize enough

Is to please stop listening

To people who tell you

That it’s “ok” to feel these emotions

But not ok to feel those emotions

All feelings are valid

Let me say that again

ALL YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID

That doesn’t mean 

You need to act on them

It just means

You can stop judging them 

Feelings are messengers

So take some time alone

Get still

Sit in silence

And allow the message/s

To come through you

Without the need

To label

Or constantly talk

About them

Questions to ask yourself:

What might these emotions 

Be trying to tell me?

Where am I not speaking

My truth?

What situation or relationship

Have I outgrown?

Where am I playing small?

How do I get to take 

Better care of my body?

What else could this mean?

How can I grow from this?

If you do this

Even for just 

A few minutes a day

You will begin 

To rewire your brain

And from there

Relief isn’t far away

It’s only up from here

Joy truly is your natural state

It’s time for you to remember 

To our collective growth,

Tara x

If you have questions please reply by email.

 
 

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THE VOID

 

Why are we so afraid of the emptiness?


the_void.jpg

This post is picking up where last week’s newsletter piece left off
If you missed it
You can catch it  here

So the question we left off with was
Why are we so afraid of the emptiness 
Why does even the word emptiness 
Bring about such a feeling of gloom 
And sometimes even shame for so many of us

Ironically, I’ve noticed this to be even more common
Among the more awakened, progressive and spiritual circles
Where people intellectually understand so much 
Yet are far from immune to the highs and lows
That often accompany walking this road less traveled

So the first question is why?
Why the fear?
Why do we prefer to hold onto what doesn’t serve us
Instead of creating space to allow what does (serve us) to come through

Well for starters, we’ve been conditioned to believe that emptiness is “bad”
We’ve been conditioned to believe that if we’re not busy
Or happy - like we imagine everyone else to be
Or in a constant state of euphoria - again, like we imagine everyone else to be

Then something must be wrong with us

We fear the emptiness because in the emptiness we have to meet ourselves
Often for the first time 
We have to sit with emotions that can be extremely uncomfortable 
But that’s not all of it

The reason we often feel the fear so acutely
Is because of our identification with the emotions we experience
We take our emotions on as facts
We literally believe that we ARE the emotion we’re experiencing 

Given how many emotions we can experience in any given day
Is it any wonder then 
That how we feel about ourselves is so inconsistent 
So unpredictable 

I’ll let you in on a not-so-little secret
You are not your emotions 
And yet your emotions matter immensely 
Because they are a sort of guidance system 
A compass if you will

However, until you make friends with your emotions
Until you allow each and every one of them a seat at the dinner table
They will continue to rule your life
And you will continue to play hide and seek with your potential
Because your fear of what’s going on inside of you will keep you stuck

The other reason we are afraid of the unknown 
Is because we are wired to be afraid of anything we don’t understand 
I can’t overemphasize this point enough 
This is why positive thinking will only ever get you so far

The Truth - the deeper Truth that many so-called teachers don’t want to speak
Either because they don’t know it themselves
Or because it doesn’t “sell” as well
Is that the only way out is through 

It is always through

So how do we begin to do this?

3 components to consider: 

  • 
Your Environment: I spoke about this last week so go here to read my thoughts
     

  • Your Inner Dialogue: How do you talk to yourself? 

What is the story you tell yourself about who you are? 
What is the story you tell yourself about who other people are? 
What is the story you tell yourself about the world you live in? 
Is it a safe place? 
Is it a scary place? 
Are people fundamentally good? Evil? 
Are you hopeful about our potential as a humanity to rise in consciousness? 
Or do you see doom and gloom everywhere you look? 
 
And how is this story — this inner dialogue — working out for you? 
What impact is it having on your life? 
Your relationships? 
Your income? 
Can you see the correlation between your fear and how constricted your life feels? 

In contrast 
Can you see the correlation between your willingness to remain open-hearted (despite your fear) And how abundant your life feels?



    •    What You Feed Your Body: This is two-fold

It’s about what you actually consume in terms of food
So the questions to ask yourself would include: 
Am I eating high-vibrational foods?
Am I consuming enough fruits and vegetables? 
Am I drinking enough water? 
Remember we are electric Beings and we are made up of 70% water
Am I still consuming animal flesh, eggs or liquids? 
Now - before you decide to unsubscribe
I’d like to ask you to consider the following fact
Emotions are stored in our cells
This is true for humans, of course, but it’s also true for animals
And the truth about what happens when an animal is sent to slaughter
Even if his or her life up until that moment has been relatively good 
Is that their entire system is taken over by Fear, Shock, Terror 
Emotions which are then stored and locked into their cells
And transferred to your cells the moment you consume them
This is something your mind will try to reject
But your Soul will immediately recognize the Truth of it
So if you’re a relatively connected person, you’ve already got it
So I’ll leave that there for now
The second piece of this is about what you feed your body 
By way of what you consume mentally and emotionally
See #1 on Your Environment for the physical/people part of this
But also consider the non-tangible stuff you consume
Here, the questions to ask yourself would include:
What kind of pages do I follow on social media? 
What other sorts of information do I consume? 
How do I feel after spending 20 minutes on Instagram of Facebook? 
Am I looking at content that leaves me feeling tired? Uninspired? Or less than? 
And am I willing to be more intentional about what I allow to penetrate my mind? 
Am I willing to unfollow pages that make me feel bad about myself? 
Without the need to justify it to myself or anyone else?

If you commit to becoming more mindful about these 3 things
Your environment
Your inner dialogue 
What you feed your body
You will begin to have a more clear vessel
And you will without a doubt begin to raise your vibration

These things
Especially when combined
Will do more to help you clear out fear
Than all the self-help books in the world combined  

Why? 
Well for starters because they’re action-oriented 
And one of the biggest ‘blocks’ to changing our reality 
Is the willingness to make different choices 
And take different actions
But also because taking these steps will help to ground you deeper 
Into the Truth of who you really are

When you hang out with toxic people
Think toxic thoughts
And eat toxic food
The results you get will closely mimic
 those states of being

So wouldn’t it make total sense then
That when you clear out negatively 
Start observing your emotions instead of identifying AS your emotions 
And start eating more live, high-vibe foods (aka not consuming death)
And increasing your water intake even by one glass of water per day
That your results will closely mimic 
This new state of being?

The kicker is you actually have to DO the new thing 
Take the action
Make the effort
Don’t wait for the motivation 
Understand that the motivation comes in the doing
It FOLLOWS the actions
It doesn’t come before it

Yes you ARE capable
You CAN do it
And yes it really DOES matter that you do

Humanity is waiting on you 
On all of us
To rise 

To our collective growth,
Tara x

If you have questions please reply by email.

 
 

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You’re either observing reality or you’re creating it

 

Distraction has always been the greatest weapon of control.


You’re either observing reality or you’re creating it. You’re absolutely never doing both. It’s fine to be aware of what’s going on in the world. But if you give all your attention to it, not only are you not giving your attention to your own life, but you’re also not changing anything about the world. Which is ironically the main reason most people give for being so into politics in the first place.

And I get it. I was a Political Economy major in undergrad and there was a time I seriously considered giving my whole life to politics. That was back when I wanted to be a lawyer. And don’t get me wrong, we need the right people in politics too. So on the face of it, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But there’s a deeper truth I’ve learned since that time: in order to change the world, we have to change ourselves. This sounds easy on the surface, but it’s not. Because we have to change ourselves from the inside out and because if you commit deeply to this work, it really never ends. So you don’t have time for distractions.

I know this reality is very compelling. And I know there are many things wrong with it. And that right there is actually all the more reason to do the inner work. Because that’s truly the only way to shift, alchemize, bend and alter the reality we perceive and experience.

There are so many beautiful people doing so many amazing things in this world. There are so many animals waiting for you to truly see and honor them. There are so many children waiting for your warm embrace. There are so many beautiful frequencies and realms available to us while we are here in this physical body. So many beautiful places God has created for us to see.

So yes, acknowledge what you don’t like about the world. But make sure you use these things to fuel your passions, not your criticisms and observations. And let them be YOUR passions. Let them extend beyond your television screen or the device in your hand. Don’t give into the temptation of distraction. It will rob you of everything you came here to be.

To our collective remembering,
❤️❤️❤️ Tara x

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THE POWER OF CREATING THROUGH JOURNALING

 

ONCE YOU GET THAT CLARITY IS ESSENTIAL FOR MANIFESTATION, DOING THE DAILY INTERNAL WORK WILL RANK A WHOLE LOT HIGHER ON YOUR TO-DO LIST.


The universe can’t give you what you want, if you’re not clear and specific about what it is you want.

So here are just a few of my infinite journaling prompts to get you started: ⭐️ How much personal influence do you believe you have over your goals/life? ⭐️ What would you like to be happening in your life right now, that isn’t? ⭐️ What does success look like to you? Be as specific as possible. If money is a part of this picture (and tbh, it is for all of us) get super specific about exactly how much money you want, and WHY you want it - as in list out all the things you would use this money on. Doing monthly expenses - both for things you have to pay for, as well as things you just want additional income for - ie travel, contribution to a sanctuary you love, etc - works best for most people. ⭐️ How will you know when you have arrived at the optimal place in your life? How will you FEEL? This is obviously ever-changing. So don’t worry about seeing further out than you can currently see. Just reach as far as you can and tap into the feeling of that. ⭐️ What activity are you currently engaging in, that if you STOPPED doing, would get you closer to your goals?

Spend some time.
Take actual pen to paper.
Yes it’s better than typing.
It’s actually toootally different in terms of your neural (brain) networks.

Most importantly, have fun with it! And let me know how you go or if you have questions. Happy creating :) So much love,
Tara x

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YOUR ANGER IS KILLING YOU

 

It's in the tone of your voice;
it's in the energy of your walk.


It’s not so much your anger, but your denial about it - that’s really what’s strangling your relationship. I’m addressing women in this post but the same can be true with all genders of course.

Believe it or not, it’s never lost on a man when you’re angry, whether you actually admit to being angry or not.


And I say this with a heart full of love - your man can see through your fake smile; he can see past your niceties.

He can feel your impatience; he can hear your (silent) criticism.

It's in the tone of your voice; it's in the energy of your walk.

He sees right through the helpful “suggestions" – whether for what to wear or directions on how to get somewhere, when he didn’t ask!

And the only thing more upsetting to a man than seeing his woman unhappy, is when she doesn't respect the relationship enough to - without blaming him - actually let him know how she feels.

So what to do? Well if you've been disconnected from your anger for a long time (i.e. saying you're *not* angry, even when you feel a massive distance in your relationship), the first step is to simply stop doing THAT.

It's to stop pretending. It’s to stop saying "nothing" when he asks you what's wrong.

It's learning to STOP SAYING "I'm fine" when it's very clear that you're not fine. It's learning to start telling the truth - especially to yourself.

What if you don't know the truth?

It's OK to say "I'm not sure." It's OK to say "this doesn't feel good." It's OK to say "I'm confused and need some time to sort it out." It's OK to start by simply not denying your emotions.

Not only will it begin to bridge the distance in your relationship, it will begin to make YOU feel more whole - which will do more for your relationship than all the strategies and self-help books in the world combined.

To our collective growth,
Tara x

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Are you playing at the highest level possible?

 

IS THIS THE CALLING I TRULY SEEK?
IS THIS THE PERSON I WANT TO BE?
IS THIS THE PATH THAT SETS ME FREE?
DOES A DEEPER TRUTH STILL LIE BURIED IN ME?


Are you playing at the highest level possible?
What version of yourself do you need to become in order to have everything you want?


What version of yourself has the business of your dreams?
The body and health of your dreams?
The relationship of your dreams? .

Who do you need to become to call these things in?
What does that version of you talk like, walk like, dress like?


How early does she wake up in the morning and what does she structure her days like?
What kind of foods does she eat?
How does she interact with people? How does she make people feel?

.
.
How does she speak to her partner? How does she FEEL about her partner? Remember that everything on the outside is a reflection of the inside.
There is no separation. .
.
.
In order to have what you want, you have to become the version of yourself that already has them.
If you were already that version now, you would already have everything you want. .
.
That’s the golden rule in life.
We get what we are a vibrational match for.
If we don’t have it, it’s because we’re not a vibrational match yet.
And that’s not always a bad thing. .
.
Especially when it comes to relationships.
If you’re not ready for the relationship of your dreams, it’s better that it not show up until you are ready.
The universe works in magical ways.
Be willing to ask.
Be willing to pray.
And have the humility and discipline to listen when the answers come through. .
.
Because often they will be subtle.
At least initially.
Don’t always look for something to hit you across the head.
Pay attention. Ask. Clarify. Create.
And above all else, you have to believe and trust that everything you want is available to you. .
.
To our collective growth,
Tara x

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JOURNEY INWARD — IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY…

 

STOP FOCUSING ON ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

1. If you don’t believe that thoughts become things, if you don’t believe that what you give your attention to grows, if you don’t believe that we are vibrational beings living in a vibrational universe, then the rest of this post will not only be meaningless to you, but it will probably annoy you. To everyone else, since you’re already on board, you’re probably already practicing being more disciplined with your thoughts — that’s a great thing! Which brings me to my next point. .

2. You have to get out of the trap of believing that your happiness is based what somebody else is or isn’t doing. It’s not other people who make us unhappy. It’s our expectations of other people that makes us unhappy. It’s OUR judgment about THEM that makes us unhappy. As long as you are at the mercy of other people behaving in a certain way, you will feel like a prisoner in your own life. .

3. But this prison is self-created, just like reality itself. Because people are fickle. No human being behaves consistently and according to our desires 100% of the time. And that’s OK, because we don’t either! We are fickle, too. .

4. When we lose sight of the bigger picture, we become unhappy. So we have to remember why we came. We have to remind ourselves that we did not come here to judge other people. We came here to do our own internal work, which is also the best way we can then contribute to the work of humanity. The work is first inside, then outside. And this cycle never ends. Within You is where the answers will always be. .

5. Every attempt you make to deviate from this truth will result in pain. Not because the universe wants to see you suffer. On the contrary. The universe is so loving and self-correcting, that She will never stop doing her job. .

She will never stop giving us the experiences we need in order to evolve and grow. Ultimately we are here to expand in consciousness. And whether we choose to go with grace or whether we go kicking + screaming, we will continue to move towards that white light one way or another.

To our collective growth,

Tara x

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