GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS
Hey guys
If you’ve been reading the blog
Over the last couple of weeks
You know that this is Part 3
Of my three part series on Narcissism
(In case you missed it you can find part 1 and part 2 on my website)
Today I wanna share
Just one specific exercise
That can help you
Immensely
On your healing journey
So long as you actually
Sit down and do it
I can’t emphasize this enough
This is NOT an intellectual process
Reading this post won’t do anything for you
Unless you actually do the exercise
Ok?!
Great :)
The purpose of this exercise
Is to get you back in touch
With your feelings
Because when you’ve suffered
From any sort of abuse
Connection to Self
Has often totally been abandoned
This will require you to be
Persistent
Strong
Willing
Courageous
You CAN do this
You ARE capable
And you are absolutely
Worthy
And
Enough
Don’t put this off
Not until tomorrow
Or after dinner
Or after you check your email
One more time
Go grab a pen and paper
Seriously
Stop reading
And go get a pen and paper
You’ll thank me later
Because this is how we heal
One
Step
At a time
By actually doing the thing
By taking the action
We know we need to take
I know it feels hard
But staying where you are
Is harder
Deep down
You already know that
Alright
Glad I’ve convinced you
Step 1 - The Memory:
Reflect back on an interaction
Any interaction
You had with this person
That made you feel bad
Don’t overthink it
Just pick one
You can do this
For multiple interactions
If you like
But we need to start with one
One SPECIFIC memory or interaction
To work with right now
Step 2 - The Facts:
Write down the exact nature
Of the interaction
As in
What actually happened
Keep this part
As objective
As possible
For example:
I walked into the house
My partner asked me how my day was
And then walked out of the room
Right as I started to answer him
Or maybe he picked up his phone
Or started talking over you
Whatever it was
Write it down
Then continue to write out
Exactly what happened
So just to continue
With the same example
Maybe you would go on
To write the following
He didn’t say “hold on”
He didn’t offer an explanation
He just walked outta the room
It was almost as if
He hadn’t literally JUST asked
How my day was
And when he walked back in
And I asked him what just happened
He asked
If I was in “one of my moods” again
Or maybe he just rolled his eyes
Yes - this is a form of (covert) abuse
It’s meant to dismiss you
To dismiss your reality
To make you feel
And often actually act
Crazy
Again
The above is just an example
To help illustrate what I mean
Step 3 - My Feelings:
Once you’ve written out
Exactly what happened
You can move onto the next step
Which is to write out
How it made you feel
This is a step that so many people
I’ve worked with over the years
Have a hard time with
Most people will go into a story
About what they THINK
Instead of how this interaction
Actually made them FEEL
I want you to know
That this is totally normal
But I also want you to understand
That this is part of your programming
Which is to say
Being in an abusive relationship
Has trained you
To mistrust your own feelings
If this has been going on long enough
Say for a number of years
Or maybe even decades
You will feel sufficiently disconnected
From the Truth of your own reality
To the point that this exercise
Might be super challenging for you
The most important thing here
Is that you do not fall back
Into old patterns
Or into a spiral of shame
Do not use the fact
That this is challenging
As an excuse to throw your hands up
And say “it’s too hard”
NO!
It’s uncomfortable
Yes
But it’s not “too” hard
You are bigger than this
You can do this
Giving up on yourself
Is exactly what this person
Who has you under their control
Wants you to do
So if coming up with feelings
Is tough for you
My suggestion would be
Simply google “feeling words”
And start working off that list
Print it out if you can
Or take a screenshot
So you can always
Come back to it
There’s absolutely nothing wrong
With using all available resources
When you want to succeed
At anything in Life
Healing from abuse is no different
As you work on Step 3
Notice any feelings that come up
Feelings that try and sabotage
Your efforts to heal
Or thoughts that come up
Such as “this will never work”
And so forth
Again
Just see them for what they are
Part of a program that’s been running
Probably for a very long time
And our job here
Is to write over that program
These steps may seem simple
But I promise you
If you actually do them
Not in your mind
But by taking actual
PEN
TO
PAPER
You will start to feel relief
Lastly
I want to know
If you’d be interested
In a more in-depth course
On exactly what I did
All the steps I took
To overcome Narcissistic Abuse
In my own life
If so
send me an email
And let me know
Joy is your natural state
It’s time for you to remember
To our collective growth,
Tara x
If you have questions please reply by email.
